I once was a pirate captain

Amanda Brown '21

I once was a pirate captain at Joe’s Funtime Café

I would wear a crusty pirate costume and a scratchy mustache with a strange scent

Arrgh, I led a fearsome crew: the plastic parrot Pete on my shoulder,

Barry (who was always late)

Steve (who never did anything)

Tina (who put way too much effort into a job that paid $12 an hour)

Every day was practically the same

Kids came up to me and hit me with their balloon swords and ran around and screamed

As their tired parents sat at tables trying to find something edible on our menu

One minute I’m singing the pirate birthday song to some snot-nosed brat

Then I’m cleaning barf in the ball pit

But Arrgh, I’m doing it for the money