The Wish for Change

It’s in that moment,

When I’m about to fall asleep,

The world seems to hold its breath,

And for a second,

Time stops,

That my mind begins to run.

It depends on how well my day went,

To see whether I run through,

The good parts,

Or,

The bad parts

Of my day.

If it’s the bad,

My whole body cringes,

I shut my eyes and hug myself tightly,

Wincing at the time,

When I was asked that fateful question,

And couldn’t find the answer,

That everyone else seemed to know.

When my heart stopped while driving,

Because my unawareness,

Almost caused a fatal crash.

When I stood still, unable to break

The silence and sad frown,

Of someone important to me.

I try my best

to reassure myself,

That it all wasn’t as bad as it seemed.

If it’s the good,

My whole body relaxes,

And my eyes close gently,

Softly smiling at the time,

When I scored the winning goal,

And I looked up to see,

The cheers and smiles of my teammates.

When I mustered up the courage,

To start a conversation,

That ended in uncontrollable laughter.

When someone unexpected,

Showed me kindness,

In a moment I really needed it.

And I give thanks for those moments.

But after running through memories,

Sometimes I’ll open my eyes,

And let them wander around the room filled with moonlight.

And I’ll ask God to grant me a wish:

To create in me

something

good and better tomorrow.

“Because I suppose,

One of the reasons we’re all able to exist for our allotted span,

In this green and blue veil of tears,

Is that there is always,

However remote it may seem,

The possibility of change.”

- Quote from Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

#Classof20 #Spring2020Edition #Poems